i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
