toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
