Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
