carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
