Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
