we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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