Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
