I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Never let your siblings swipe right.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
