I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
we're so committed to being not committed
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
