I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
