Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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