saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
