I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
