He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
