Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
