Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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