you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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