So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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