My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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