dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
