eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
whose ass print is on the piano?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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