apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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