matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
