Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
