I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
farters have to be the big spoon...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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