i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
