it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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