google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
