I CAN MOONWALK!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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