get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Small penises have feelings too.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
