ugly people sure do ruin things
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
