u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
