I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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