somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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