well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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