My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
