I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
