I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
