You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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