i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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