Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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