Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
