i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
