one might say we're banned from that church
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
