I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
