This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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