Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
