I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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