GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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