Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
